Follow-Up Information from CRG
Follow-Up Information from Crossroads Resolution Group
Dear members of Faith Church and Faith Christian School community:
This email is to let you know that the recorded video of the November 15, 2020 CRG Mediation Reporting meeting is available for your access and watch. The video has been placed on a private page of CRG’s web page and can be accessed by contacting the church by phone, 503-623-8034; or by requesting the same by email, email@example.com.
As you watch or review the sharing, we want to encourage you to understand that the reporting of the efforts that have been taken and the progress and reconciliation experienced is NOT the conclusion of the reconciliation work, the healing, or rebuilding of relationships within your community. The reported work, and the sharing from the Elders and other participants is the platform from which the important and on-going work of being Christ’s disciples continues. Disagreement, misunderstandings, differences of opinion and priorities, and offenses (“conflicts”) between individuals is part of our interactions as a community. As fallen creatures, this is the unfortunate consequence of our condition. The hope and promise, however, is that Christ has already paid for the sins that often occur in the context of these conflicts and gives us clear directions and admonitions on how to help one another as we address these, confess, forgive, and be reconciled to one another.
We want to encourage you as you process this information, and continue the work of reconciling and rebuilding relationships to be mindful of several things:
- Remember whose you and those within you community with whom you may be in conflict, are – You are “God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved . . ., reconciled by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation . . .” Colossians 3:12; 1:22.
- As disciples of Christ, you are called to seek God’s will for yourself and your church and school community together. We need to seek God’s will, not our own preferences, and do so together as God’s people. This provides the example to the watching world referenced in John 17:20--23.
- As you take steps of reconciliation and process the information and sharing you heard and did not hear, fight against and seek God’s help to resist the following tendencies we all have:
- Making assumptions
Resist and avoid creating explanations for information you want to know. Ask, is the information I want, information I need to help the other people or simply because I want to know or advocate for a position? It is appropriate to ask questions that seeks to understand the other person.
- Reaching judgments which are not charitable
- We are cautioned against judging others – Matt. 7:1 – 3
- Instead of assuming the worst about others, we are called to make charitable judgments and think the best of one another. (Matt 7:12; I Cor. 13:4 – 7; Phillippians 4:8)
- Resist and avoid Gossip
Scripture calls us to avoid gossip, speaking to others about another person, rather than take concerns directly to the person. Scripture forbids it – Prov 16:28; 26:20; I Timothy 5:13. Even when we believe what we are sharing about another person is true, when we share about someone else to another person, rather than talk to the person directly, we are gossiping. We are essentially trying the other person in the court of public opinion. We become the prosecutor & judge and ask others to be the jury. The result is harm to the person we are talking about and harm to the person to whom we are talking. It is sin we are commanded to avoid.
- Practice unconditional love
The command to love one another as Christ loves us (John 13:34-35), forgive as God forgives us, (Col. 3:13) calls us to not love conditionally. Our love for others, even those who have hurt or disappointed us or with whom we disagree, cannot be based on the other person’s acts or whether they do as we want. Realize that regardless of the situation, conflict or not conflict, we need to love one another the way God loves us.
- Engage in forgiveness by God’s definition as a way of life together in your families, in your church family, with your leaders.
- Engage with one another now. Don’t wait to speak to one another, to confess where you know you need to confess, rather extend forgiveness, seek to understand one another, be intentional to rebuild strained and broken relationships.
- As you seek to live out these and all of God’s plans for us, continue to make access to and review, or watch if you have not, the Pursuing Peace Together seminars and follow up Q & A sessions which provide a good and helpful overview of these biblical principles. These videos can be access on the Faith Church News/Updates web page.
- Complete the Colossians study previously provided to the congregation.
- To further build on the understanding and application of the principles of peacemaking, and to enhance the ability of all to apply and live out these principles into the future, we recommend that all in the Church as well as School parents and staff, access an on-line course – Discovering Relational Wisdom. It is also available in a DVD Group Study set.
This 8-session course uses short teaching, video case studies, and reflection questions which provide an introduction to the theology, benefits and practical applications of relational wisdom, which is an enhanced form of emotional intelligence. These enhancements include the integration of a biblical worldview, acrostics that accelerate skill development and personal growth, dozens of practical life applications and multiple demonstration videos.
This course will start a journey to improving your ability to read emotions, exercise empathy and self-control, communicate more clearly, resolve conflict, build fulfilling relationships and enjoy a compelling witness for Christ.
Like the principles of biblical conflict resolution, these principles have the potential to impact every area of your life, including your family and friendships, church, workplace performance and career advancement.
Thank you for allowing us to serve you.
David Schlachter & Roger Deurksen
Crossroads Resolution Group, LLC
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